A Eulogy

“A Eulogy”  12-26-05

Written about my grandmother, my father’s mother, who died in March of 2004. She was my favorite person in the world and the reason my daughter’s middle name is Pearl, named for my Meema. When I started college, Meema would write letters to me several times a week. I have saved every single one of them. 

What can I say about her? Simple doesn’t say it—
Beautiful is too generic. All I can say is that I loved her,
And can’t believe she’s gone.
I still think of her gentle old face,
Hollowed in its frailty, smiling while writing letters to me.
She told stories of the past with little details of the day
As she saw it, including her bodily functions.
I smile now, remembering that.
It was for her we all smiled;
For her we all desired to share our love.

When I called, she answered a good morning with my name.
It is me now who’s mourning; all of us who knew her miss her now.
I dreaded the day when she would not answer my call,
Or not know my voice. Our last spoken words, I’ll not forget.
“I love you, don’t worry about me,” she said.
She knew, and as much as I hated to admit it
I knew I would never speak to her sweet face again.
I prayed harder than ever for an end to her pain.

Such a strong soul in such a withering body.
It was she who taught us to be strong.
I never told her the extent of my losses;
Which when compared to hers, were insignificant until now.
I was then a child, not knowing whom I was losing;
My father and my grandfather all in one year.
But grandma, always dear “Meema” to me,
Did know and lost so much more.
It was through her I could remember things locked away by pain,
Sadness or perhaps youthful resilience.

I made her cookies for the family this year, wishing for her
voice to correct what I’d mixed wrong, for nothing tastes the same without her help.
I hope that someday
I will be lucky enough to be blessed with a granddaughter
who loves me as much as I loved her.

-Brandi Easterling Collins