• Essays,  General Thoughts

    When I grow up

    When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? I think my first answer to that question was a mommy. I would play with my dolls and pretend I was their mommy. I would change their clothes, pack a diaper bag, and have my dolls ride in a toy car seat buckled into the car. Basically, I would imitate how my mother took care of my baby sister. Next, I wanted to be a teacher. I used to play school with my stuffed animals all the time. Looking back, I find this ironic because there were times when I hated school. I felt lonely…

  • Essays,  General Thoughts

    What does depression (and anxiety) look like?

    Most commercials for antidepressants show people in despair, lying on a couch crying or dressed in baggy clothing with unkempt hair. Is that what depression looks like?¬†Yes. Sometimes. But often, depression can look like a person who has their shit together. A career woman who gets things done. A soccer mom with perfect hair and perfect kids. A lawyer. A doctor. A musician. An artist. A movie star. A writer. Me. Anxiety medication ads often depict a person having a panic attack, complete with hyperventilating, rapid heartbeat and sweating. So that’s what anxiety looks like, right? Sure. Sometimes. It also can look like standoffishness. Indifference. Disengagement. Irritability. Forgetfulness. Me.