Most commercials for antidepressants show people in despair, lying on a couch crying or dressed in baggy clothing with unkempt hair. Is that what depression looks like? Yes. Sometimes. But often, depression can look like a person who has their shit together. A career woman who gets things done. A soccer mom with perfect hair and perfect kids. A lawyer. A doctor. A musician. An artist. A movie star. A writer. Me. Anxiety medication ads often depict a person having a panic attack, complete with hyperventilating, rapid heartbeat and sweating. So that’s what anxiety looks like, right? Sure. Sometimes. It also can look like standoffishness. Indifference. Disengagement. Irritability. Forgetfulness. Me.
For two months or so, I’ve been suffering from insomnia. I haven’t really kept it secret, but haven’t elaborated on the reasons behind it either. I do feel tired and want so badly to go to sleep at bedtime. By the time I finish all the things a busy mom has to do and my kids are in bed, I am wide awake. I have tried healthy habits, like tea, warm baths, reading, no television, keeping the lights low, and avoiding the “blue screen glow” of electronic devices to get myself in the right mindset to sleep. I have tried melatonin supplements too, but I worry about taking those for too…