• Illustration of older lady waving.
    Essays,  General Thoughts

    I’ve been old (but not necessarily wise) my whole life

    I’ve been thinking a lot about aging lately. I just turned 43, and that plants me firmly in middle agedom. But in reality, I think I’ve been old my whole life. Age vs. Maturity Interesting/Funny story: My mom visited a psychic for fun when I was a small child, and I didn’t hear about it until I was older. The lady told my mom some things that were hard to hear, like that my dad would die from the cancer he was fighting. Another thing she told my mom was about me. She described me as a “little adult” who was well-spoken and would grow up to be artistic. The…

  • Woman dealing with mental health issues.
    Essays,  General Thoughts

    When your mind betrays you: depression rears its ugly head again

    I haven’t been silent about my (past) battles with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. All those issues hit me as a teen and came back in my 20s, 30s, and now 40s. I was fortunate not to experience postpartum depression after my two pregnancies, but I’ve known women who have. Mental illness is rarely a “one-and-done” situation. It’s often a lifelong battle. There’s less of a stigma about mental health than ever before, but it can still be isolating feeling trapped in your own mind—a mind that’s betrayed you when you thought you were okay again. Triggers I think everyone has different triggers that can jump-start a depressive episode. Sometimes, there’s…

  • Essays,  General Thoughts

    When I grow up

    When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? I think my first answer to that question was a mommy. I would play with my dolls and pretend I was their mommy. I would change their clothes, pack a diaper bag, and have my dolls ride in a toy car seat buckled into the car. Basically, I would imitate how my mother took care of my baby sister. Next, I wanted to be a teacher. I used to play school with my stuffed animals all the time. Looking back, I find this ironic because there were times when I hated school. I felt lonely…