Stop

“Stop” 10-2-99

Maybe if my heart would stop beating, it wouldn’t hurt so badly.
And maybe if I could stop breathing, my chest would no longer ache.
If I knew how to stop being alive, I wouldn’t feel myself slowly dying.

Maybe if I wasn’t hungry, I could eat for energy.
And maybe if I could stop crying, I wouldn’t look like hell.
If I didn’t love you, my soul could survive.

Maybe if my God understands, strength will empower me.
And maybe if I hadn’t trusted you, I wouldn’t feel so betrayed.
If I could hate you, I wouldn’t have to die.

Maybe if I were smarter, I wouldn’t attract pain.
And maybe if I were shallow, I could stop bleeding.
If I could remember who I was, I would know who I am without you.

Maybe if I wasn’t tired, I could sleep peacefully.
And maybe if I were beautiful, someone would love me.
If I could still believe in destiny, I would be free to dream.

Maybe if you’d have acknowledged me in public, I wouldn’t feel as used.
And maybe if I didn’t fear loneliness, I could accept myself alone.
If I were not so damn confused, I could let my memories of you subside.