Essays
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When I grow up
When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? I think my first answer to that question was a mommy. I would play with my dolls and pretend I was their mommy. I would change their clothes, pack a diaper bag, and have my dolls ride in a toy car seat buckled into the car. Basically, I would imitate how my mother took care of my baby sister. Next, I wanted to be a teacher. I used to play school with my stuffed animals all the time. Looking back, I find this ironic because there were times when I hated school. I felt lonely…
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What does depression (and anxiety) look like?
Most commercials for antidepressants show people in despair, lying on a couch crying or dressed in baggy clothing with unkempt hair. Is that what depression looks like? Yes. Sometimes. But often, depression can look like a person who has their shit together. A career woman who gets things done. A soccer mom with perfect hair and perfect kids. A lawyer. A doctor. A musician. An artist. A movie star. A writer. Me. Anxiety medication ads often depict a person having a panic attack, complete with hyperventilating, rapid heartbeat and sweating. So that’s what anxiety looks like, right? Sure. Sometimes. It also can look like standoffishness. Indifference. Disengagement. Irritability. Forgetfulness. Me.
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My husband: the best example of a good father
My husband, Jonathan, is a wonderful father. Just like I knew he would be. I had witnessed firsthand his relationships with his four nephews and two nieces while we were dating. In fact, two of them “chaperoned” us on our first date when we took them to see a kiddie movie. I had also seen the relationship Jonathan had with his own father, Dean, who is a great father in his own right. We had the kid conversation early in our relationship and were both in agreement that we wanted at least one, but preferably two. Jonathan didn’t care if we had boys, girls or one of each. I always…
