• Essays,  General Thoughts

    Talking about death

    Most people don’t like to talk about death because it’s scary. Any time I bring it up to my husband, he’s quick to change the subject. I think he’s convinced he’ll go first. He’s said before that he never wants to lose me. I don’t want to lose him either, but I don’t think either one of us believes we’re truly immortal. (Please note that I’m not talking religion right now.) I’ve known about death for as long as I can remember, since I saw my first death at four years old, that of my father. A few months prior, my grandfather (Dad’s father) had died. Though I didn’t see…

  • Essays,  General Thoughts

    What does depression (and anxiety) look like?

    Most commercials for antidepressants show people in despair, lying on a couch crying or dressed in baggy clothing with unkempt hair. Is that what depression looks like? Yes. Sometimes. But often, depression can look like a person who has their shit together. A career woman who gets things done. A soccer mom with perfect hair and perfect kids. A lawyer. A doctor. A musician. An artist. A movie star. A writer. Me. Anxiety medication ads often depict a person having a panic attack, complete with hyperventilating, rapid heartbeat and sweating. So that’s what anxiety looks like, right? Sure. Sometimes. It also can look like standoffishness. Indifference. Disengagement. Irritability. Forgetfulness. Me.