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When your mind betrays you: depression rears its ugly head again
I haven’t been silent about my (past) battles with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. All those issues hit me as a teen and came back in my 20s, 30s, and now 40s. I was fortunate not to experience postpartum depression after my two pregnancies, but I’ve known women who have. Mental illness is rarely a “one-and-done” situation. It’s often a lifelong battle. There’s less of a stigma about mental health than ever before, but it can still be isolating feeling trapped in your own mind—a mind that’s betrayed you when you thought you were okay again. Triggers I think everyone has different triggers that can jump-start a depressive episode. Sometimes, there’s…
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Two Years of Updates: Reading, Writing, and other creative outlets
I feel like this is a confession. My name is Brandi. I’m a writer, and it’s been two months since I last published a blog post. It’s my longest gap since launching this site two years ago. Has it really been that long? Lately, I’ve been reflecting on where I was in life two years ago. I was just starting to write again because of a burning desire inside I could no longer ignore. I was haunted by past heartache from which I’d never properly healed. I was depressed, anxious, restless and an insomniac. I was also exhausted from the “perfect” facade I’d been presenting that was finally crushing me.
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Insomnia and Anxiety
For two months or so, I’ve been suffering from insomnia. I haven’t really kept it secret, but haven’t elaborated on the reasons behind it either. I do feel tired and want so badly to go to sleep at bedtime. By the time I finish all the things a busy mom has to do and my kids are in bed, I am wide awake. I have tried healthy habits, like tea, warm baths, reading, no television, keeping the lights low, and avoiding the “blue screen glow” of electronic devices to get myself in the right mindset to sleep. I have tried melatonin supplements too, but I worry about taking those for too…
