Pieces of Myself

“Pieces of Myself ” 10-29-99

I can still remember the first time we were completely alone together, being nervous but never once being afraid.
That night I gave you a piece of my soul, for the first time between two shooting stars.
You asked me to trust myself, told me to loosen up; so I did that for you and let my worries drift away.
I can still remember when I could have lost you forever, having realized before that I love you.
That night I gave you a second piece of my soul, under another shooting star.

Now in my current state, all I can do is think of the past and the future that might never be, for thinking of the present only depresses me.

I can still remember the feeling of being ripped apart from the outside in, but not dwelling on the pain of it.
That night I gave you yet another piece of my soul, for the third time under the stars.
You told me not to lie to myself and asked that I not lie to you; so I told the truth and it scared you, and me.
I can still remember when I shattered in front of you, no longer able to hide my agony.
That night I gave you a fourth piece of my soul, below a sky full of angry stars.

Now that I am reminded of you, every morning, as I awaken at the same time to whisper a prayer,
I fear the first morning that the residue of my soul allows me to sleep unaware.

I can still remember, some night, all of the dreams I had, even without enough soul to encourage them.
That night I will give you all that is left of my soul, for the last time under the stars.
You said to go with my instincts as you go with yours; but you never mentioned that mine are less important.
I can still remember not wanting to fall for you, but I did, and I will never regret it.
Some night you will return to me my soul with a piece of yours,
and I will take both willingly and never let you go.