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Stop
“Stop” 10-2-99 Maybe if my heart would stop beating, it wouldn’t hurt so badly. And maybe if I could stop breathing, my chest would no longer ache. If I knew how to stop being alive, I wouldn’t feel myself slowly dying. Maybe if I wasn’t hungry, I could eat for energy. And maybe if I could stop crying, I wouldn’t look like hell. If I didn’t love you, my soul could survive. Maybe if my God understands, strength will empower me. And maybe if I hadn’t trusted you, I wouldn’t feel so betrayed. If I could hate you, I wouldn’t have to die. Maybe if I were smarter, I wouldn’t…
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Forget
“Forget” 9-28-99 When we are together, I want us to be one. I miss you when we are apart. I can smell you on my skin, and feel you inside my soul. I am drowning in my sorrows, because when our time together is through, I’m not sure how to breathe without you. I want to feel your touch against my face, and hold you in my arms forever. Part of me will die if you forget me, but I cannot truly live unless I forget you.
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The Night
I wrote this one when I was 15. “The Night” 11-22-96 Deep in the night I had a dream, and in it everything was okay. I was thoroughly happy, and nothing could take that away from me. I wasn’t at all doubtful, and in fact, feeling that way was entirely unknown to me. Everything worked out for the better the first time through, and it always had. Deep in the night I had a dream, and in it everything was not okay. Beauty was not in the eyes of the beholder, and I couldn’t find it in me. I was afraid of everything, and nothing would take that away from me. All I wanted was for someone to…