General Thoughts,  Pop Culture

Day 4: Countdown of my favorite love songs (love/hate)

Photo by Diego Medrano

Welcome to day four of my ten-day series of Valentine’s Day-inspired blog posts. Yesterday, I wrote about my favorite songs for the brokenhearted. Today’s featured songs are about love/hate. You know? When you love and hate them and can’t seem to figure out why? Or when you hate them but still love them?

I don’t think I’ve ever truly hated someone. I’ve said it and regretted it. What kid hasn’t uttered those words to a parent or sibling? I am a firm believer that you must have loved someone first to hate them. I don’t think the opposite of love is indifference; I think it’s hate. HATE: loathe, detest, despise, abhor, execrate.

My favorite three love/hate songs are listed below.

1. “Jar of Hearts” written and performed by Christina Perri (2010).
I adore this song and adore Christina Perri. Her voice. Wow. Just wow. This song starts off sounding like a sad ballad, but it’s not.

I know I can’t take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that’s waiting is regret

She knows she can’t be with him because he’ll hurt her again. I needed this song back in 2002 before it existed. It might have saved me some heartache. Who am I kidding? Back then, in the state I was in, I would still have gone back to the guy who’d hurt me before just to me in his arms again for another few months.

And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

The chorus, which I couldn’t include in its entirety, gives the name of the song. This guy who hurt her has left a trail of broken hearts behind. The singer is pissed at him, her hatred growing as the intensity of the lyrics and her singing does.

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises

She wishes she’d never kissed him. She probably wishes she’d never met him. I think, though, if we miss out on missing who we’re supposed to meet due to circumstances beyond our control, there would be a void in our souls. We’d feel the void but wouldn’t know what (or whom) was missing.

WARNING: The next video contains explicit language.

2. “i hate u, i love u” performed by Gnash and Olivia O’Brien (2015), written by Gnash (Garrett Nash), O’Brien, and Angel Benitez.
This song is like nothing I’ve ever heard. And once again, I despise the uncapitalized “I” and the use of “U” in place of “you.” The song’s title pretty much gives away the subject matter. I like that it’s a duet because both sides of the story are important.

Feeling used 
But I’m
Still missing you

Even though she feels used by her ex-lover, she still misses him. Mainly because she still loves him no matter what ended their relationship.

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don’t want to but I can’t put nobody else above you

She wants the feelings to go away. She now has a love/hate relationship with the memories of him. She’s watching him as he’s moved on and feels jealous.

Friends can break your heart too, and
I’m always tired but never of you

From the guy’s perspective, he’s hurting too. He misses her, but he doesn’t trust her anymore. He valued her as a friend, and she broke his heart. He shares his feelings and uses explicit language that rolls off his tongue so softly that it’s easy to sing along without realizing he’s cursing.

WARNING: The next video contains drug references and adult themes.

3. ” I Hate Everything About You” performed by Three Days Grace (2003), written by Adam Gontier, Neil Sanderson, Brad Walst, and Gavin Brown.
This song is extremely angry. The opening music feels like it’s stretching and smashing my heart in rapid succession. Then, the lyrics begin. The best emotions are conveyed in the chorus.

All the feelings that I get
But I still don’t miss you yet

Only when I start to think about it
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
You hate everything about me
Why do you love me

This is the story of a messed up relationship. The lovers love and hate each other. They can’t seem to let each other go and keep being drawn back together when they’re apart. They’re essentially addicted to each other. Like a drug. And we’ve all experienced drug addition either personally, with a loved one, or in media (books, movies, songs, etc.,) enough to know that it’s not easy to overcome.

Honorable mentions (listed alphabetically):

  • “Love-Hate-Sex-Pain” Godsmack.
  • “Love The Way You Lie” Eminem and Rihanna (Explicit language).
  • “She Hates Me” Puddle of Mudd (Explicit language).
  • “The Kill” 30 Seconds to Mars
  • “True Love” Pink (Explicit language).

Be sure to look for the next post tomorrow. The subject will be songs about non-romantic love.

Thank you for reading. What’s your favorite love/hate song?

-Brandi Easterling Collins

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