When I grow up

Standard

Background vector created by Iconicbestiary – Freepik.com

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? I think my first answer to that question was a mommy. I would play with my dolls and pretend I was their mommy. I would change their clothes, pack a diaper bag, and have my dolls ride in a toy car seat buckled into the car. Basically, I would imitate how my mother took care of my baby sister.

Frame vector created by Sapann-Design – Freepik.com

Next, I wanted to be a teacher. I used to play school with my stuffed animals all the time. Looking back, I find this ironic because there were times when I hated school. I felt lonely and left out sometimes. Other times, there was too much attention when I would have preferred to blend in. Adolescence can be difficult for the meek. Thank God for great teachers, friends, my family, and a lousy guidance counselor (or was she?) who had reservations about me “making it” in college so far away from my comfort zone. At any hard time when I briefly entertained the thought of quitting, I thought about that guidance counselor’s comment and decided that succeeding—if only to spite her—was worth it. Continue reading

Love me more (Taylor’s Song)

Standard

This is Taylor’s song from my current novel-in-progress, Jordan’s Sister. The sound I have in mind for it is reminiscent of 90s Pop because the entire music scene of the 90s is something that my character, Taylor, gravitates toward because she grew up listening to it. It’s a love song with intentionally ambiguous lyrics. I’ve mentioned before that most songs are about love, sex or drugs.

“Love me more”

If you could love me more
I think I’d run away
I never thought that I would feel this way—again
But I never want to leave this place
I think so every time I see your face—I do
I do
I do—

Baby, if you’re nice
I’ll let you come inside
Into this secret place where I go to hide
I’m so afraid with every breath I take
There’s no one else who makes me feel this way—like you
Like you
Like you—

Continue reading

Waiting for you: Layne’s Song for Jordan’s Sister

Standard

“Waiting for you” 2016, written for novel rewrite in progress, Jordan’s Sister

There’s more beauty in you
Than could ever be true
I’ve spent all of my life
Waiting for you

You push me away
While I beg you to stay
I’m new to this place
And I won’t be the same

I’ll take all your pain
And lock it away
If I don’t kiss your lips
I might go insane

There’s more beauty in you
Than could ever be true
I’ve spent all of my life
Waiting for you

You won’t let me in
And I know you’re scared
But if you’ll let down your guards
I’ll show you I care

I’ll love you the same
With each passing day
True to your soul
My heart will remain

I’ll take all your pain
And lock it away
If I don’t kiss your lips
I might go insane

There’s more beauty in you
Than could ever be true
I’ve spent all of my life
Just waiting for you

-Brandi Easterling Collins