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When your mind betrays you: depression rears its ugly head again
I haven’t been silent about my (past) battles with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. All those issues hit me as a teen and came back in my 20s, 30s, and now 40s. I was fortunate not to experience postpartum depression after my two pregnancies, but I’ve known women who have. Mental illness is rarely a “one-and-done” situation. It’s often a lifelong battle. There’s less of a stigma about mental health than ever before, but it can still be isolating feeling trapped in your own mind—a mind that’s betrayed you when you thought you were okay again. Triggers I think everyone has different triggers that can jump-start a depressive episode. Sometimes, there’s…
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Talking about death
Most people don’t like to talk about death because it’s scary. Any time I bring it up to my husband, he’s quick to change the subject. I think he’s convinced he’ll go first. He’s said before that he never wants to lose me. I don’t want to lose him either, but I don’t think either one of us believes we’re truly immortal. (Please note that I’m not talking religion right now.) I’ve known about death for as long as I can remember, since I saw my first death at four years old, that of my father. A few months prior, my grandfather (Dad’s father) had died. Though I didn’t see…
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What does depression (and anxiety) look like?
Most commercials for antidepressants show people in despair, lying on a couch crying or dressed in baggy clothing with unkempt hair. Is that what depression looks like? Yes. Sometimes. But often, depression can look like a person who has their shit together. A career woman who gets things done. A soccer mom with perfect hair and perfect kids. A lawyer. A doctor. A musician. An artist. A movie star. A writer. Me. Anxiety medication ads often depict a person having a panic attack, complete with hyperventilating, rapid heartbeat and sweating. So that’s what anxiety looks like, right? Sure. Sometimes. It also can look like standoffishness. Indifference. Disengagement. Irritability. Forgetfulness. Me.
