Believe It or Not, Getting Fat Isn’t the Worst Thing That’s Ever Happened to Me
Body image has been a hot topic for as long as I’ve been alive in one way or another. As the old saying goes, sometimes, the more things change, the more they remain the same.
Eras of Women’s Body Image During My Lifetime and How I Related
I was born during the 1980s aerobics craze where the ideal female body was toned and athletic like fitness model Jane Fonda. I remember accompanying my mom to aerobics classes when I was a young child or trying to follow along with home workout videos on VHS.
The 1990s came along with “thin-is-in” models like Kate Moss. Seventeen and Cosmopolitan magazines had diet and exercise plans to help readers pursue the goal of the perfect body, and I struggled with the development of my new curves (aka large breasts) as I became a teenager. I was not (and never will be) built like Kate Moss or some of the other women I compared myself to.
When the toned figure with slight curves became more desirable again in the 2000s, I looked a bit more like a skeleton due to my newly diagnosed ulcerative colitis. I just couldn’t win.
In my early 20s, I was at what the BMI (Body Mass Index) charts considered healthy for my height (5’1″), around 115-125 pounds. I didn’t have to do anything to maintain the weight after recovering from my illness and gaining back the 30 pounds I had lost at my sickest.
As an adult, I’ve tried to embrace the body positivity movement and love my curves, despite creeping up in weight and getting the “oh-so-fun” label of obese on the BMI chart.
Now, as we approach the 2030s, with the prevalence of GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic, thin seems to be in again. Note: I am not judging anyone who takes these drugs for diabetes management or weight loss. Each person must make their own informed decision. My decision is to not take them at this time.
Getting “Fat” as a mature adult
According to my current medical records, I’m obese. As of this posting in late May 2026, I weigh approximately 159 pounds. When I wrote my previous blog post about body image in 2023, I was a few pounds heavier, down 10 pounds from my heaviest weight of 175.
Now, I am down 20 pounds from my heaviest weight of 179 in January 2025. My BMI is 30, which is clinically obese. If I lose another pound, I’ll be in the overweight category until I drop below 132 pounds according to the chart.
Look, I know I’m a bit fat right now, but I don’t necessarily feel obese. Sure, it’s taken me almost a year and a half to lose 20 pounds, but I am trying. I try to keep my calorie count as close to 1,500 a day and exercise for 30 minutes or more every day. I’m religious about weighing my food to ensure proper serving sizes and calorie counts. At almost 45 years old, and with my particular body chemistry, it’s a slow process.
My Goal Weight
I’ll be honest. My goal weight is 130 pounds. Will I ever get there again? I don’t know. I do know that I’m not planning to give up. There are some weeks when I never go over my calorie count and gain a pound or two. Other weeks, I may have two days where I go over and end up losing a pound. It’s exhausting sometimes to feel like it’s always two steps forward and one step back, but that’s the reality of my situation—especially when I have reset and started over multiple times.
What will happen if I don’t reach my goal weight? I guess I’ll just live as a fat person and try to stay as active as possible. Despite my obesity diagnosis, I feel fairly healthy most of the time. I enjoy my daily walks (outside is preferred, but the treadmill is waiting for me during inclement weather). I typically have enough energy to accomplish my daily tasks and then some.
A Reality Check About My Body
Getting fat isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. My body has been through mental and physical trauma with anxiety, depression, grief, heartbreak, pregnancy, and ulcerative colitis. I’ve witnessed family and dear friends face challenges far greater than mine.
“Fat” is just another label, and I’m willing to own it, but not willing to let it limit me. I still plan to work on my health and weight loss efforts, no matter how many times it feels like I have to start over. Because I’m worth it, and I love myself enough to keep trying.
Thank you for reading,
-Brandi Easterling Collins
